Emotional Support Human - Washed Terry Hoodie

Let’s dispense with the illusion that you are the master. You are the staff. You are the doorman, the chef, the janitor, and—most importantly—the emotional anchor for a creature that has a panic attack if you close the bathroom door for forty-five seconds.

This isn’t just a hoodie; it’s a resignation to your role in the pack hierarchy. Constructed from heavyweight, architectural French Terry, this piece is designed to withstand the rigors of modern dog ownership—from the aggressive affection of a reunion after a five-minute trash run to the chilly drafts of a 6:00 AM potty break. It features a structured, boxy fit that says "I have taste," paired with a slogan that says, "I have no personal space."

Wear it to the vet to establish dominance (yours, not the dog's), or wear it on the couch while being used as a pillow. You’re doing a great job.